When I was pregnant, someone in my prenatal yoga class described motherhood as living life with your heart outside of your body. I didn’t quite understand what this inversion of all that is love, vulnerable and tender within me externalized meant until I held my baby daughter in my arms.
I remember distinctly the first time we looked at each other and her brown eyes met mine. She studied my face, quiet and pensive and then looked directly into my eyes and gifted me with something. In one look, one moment, she gifted me with all her trust.
It was then and there that my understanding of motherhood came flooding in.
I was to keep her alive.
I was to protect her.
I was to provide for her.
I was to teach her how to be a human being.
I was to love her.
And just like that, my heart left the inner chambers of my body and I was cradling love, vulnerability and tenderness in my arms. She was my heart.
A fierce love rose up in me like the fiery lava from a volcano. Bursting. Ready to embody this role as a mama warrior. I was unearthed.
As my little baby grew into a toddler, I didn’t realize I’d be lots of different kinds of mama, other than that fierce warrior mama protecting my heart at all costs.
I became.
Tender mama.
Hot mess mama.
Playful mama.
Task driven mama.
Teacher mama.
Provider mama.
Nurturing mama.
Lay down the law mama.
Tired mama.
Burnt out mama.
Attentive mama.
Silly mama.
Listening mama.
So many forms that mothers take as our children grow and change. We rise and become whatever the moment calls in us, even when it’s hard. This is what you do when your heart lives outside your chest. This is what you do for your children.
And in this time, in the midst of a global pandemic, we become what this moment calls in us once again.
Shielding our children from the physical effects of an invisible virus.
Securing food and shelter.
Cradling them in the midst of their fears, disappointments, boredom, and grief.
Helping them to navigate change and new realities.
Discovering with them the small joys and the endless wonders in daily life.
You, Mama, are working small miracles out here every day. I see you. Remember you are doing your best even when you think it’s not enough. Remember to take a moment for yourself and breath. Remember that fierce love for your child will guide your steps through these ambiguous times and the unknown. You are love embodied. You are heart.
A Heartfulness Meditation for Mothers
Take a moment to sit or lay comfortably. Close your eyes and take three deep intentional breaths. Pause for a moment of silence and stillness. Gently place both hands on your heart. Focus your mind’s attention on the sensations of your beating heart. Notice the rhythm. Notice the gentle beat pulsating in the palm of your hands. The heart’s steadiness. Stay here for a few minutes and continue to breath. With eyes closed, visualize the faces of your children and notice what comes up for you. Hold this feeling and these sensations. When you are ready to come out of meditation, release the image and take three deep breaths. Open your eyes.
Artist: Artwork signed by Omer